Yes, I am still missing her, loving her.

Whatever it is, everything I see or do reminds me of her and us.
What we went through is enormously alot. Our understanding of each other is crazy.
Have you ever think of me and miss our times too? I know you did.
Are you still loving me? I know it's a yes.

Night all.

Its work again tomorrow. First time in my life, I hate going to work. ):

Tell me one day, that all the pains I go through and my waits is all worth while.

Went for zhi bao ji @ clementi today with gf.She has been craving for it since awake. So, I brought her to dine there today.
I tell you, she is damn cute.

me: where to dine tonight, dear?
gf: I feel like eating zi bao ji eh.
me: uh? let me check out the location and opening hours.
gf: *smiles*
me: okay, promised. let go there and eat this evening.

She has been smiling since.

The person who really love you most is the one who never leave you no matter what.

We took afternoon nap before making our way there.
Here is the pictures.

I know why no paper wrap chicken pictures right?
Cus, when we arrive, we were told that it's sold out.
But while having our dinner, someone came and said,
yes! the chef is preparing now and ask for our orders.
We ordered 10 of it. Didnt take pictures of it cus we are busy with the FOODS!

I am happy, that she is eating with her usual self, with hands and mouthful of foods. (:

"Let me fill your stomach, even though the energy use is not on me..."

And yes, yesterday after mahjong at CH house,we went to 126 at Geylang Lorong 17 for supper!

Actually, we wanted to go Kembangan for pig liver mee sua that she love.
That's her favourite. But sadly when we arrive, it's closed till 3rd Febuary. ):

Alright, pictures below.

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

It was new year's eve. I should be in a joyous mood and await meeting my gf for visits.

I was all alone at home till evening. When gf called and say she have reached home.
Went over to her place and accompany her till late, before she doze off and me? making my way back home through the drizzling rain. I told myself, at least she is sound asleep. (:

I just couldn't sleep well yesterday night after reaching home. It's 1am.
And suddenly, my phone beeps.
Guess what?
It's gf. She texted me and ask if I was asleep. I knew she must be in some problems knowing her after so long. And yes, her stomach is aching and she couldn't sleep well.

She must have miss the times I use my bare hands & rub her stomach with the medicated oil.

I changed into my clothes, without styling my hair and forgotten about my watch, I rushed down to my car and drove over immediately. I waited in the car till 3am. The rain is pouring heavier and heavier. She must have dozed off after seeing my previous msg. Drove back home and tried hard to sleep.

With her occupying my mind, slowly, I dozed off... .. (to be continued)

Yesterday, we were out after work for shopping. At bugis.

The roads to Pioneer was still so familiar as usual.

Yes, I am picking her up at 6pm there.

Usually, I would slack abit in office before setting off.

But yesterday, I was the first one to leave office at 530pm.

Brought her back home to get her wallet and got her to change to

casual wears with flat base shoe.

HER LEG WILL BE PAIN AFTER SHOPPING WITH HEELS, I KNOW (:

She was singing away while our car music is playing while droving off,

and I teased her! She wanted to pinch my face, i know.

This is the real her, the real Jeline being herself.

Guess what, we drove off from her house, she ask me...

gf: Did you see me taking my wallet from home?

me: Nope, don't think so.

We laughed, while enjoying the beancurd I got for her.

Was worried about the late dinner later and her gastric.

I wanted her to eat it before shopping, in my car! (:

And yes, she fed me while I drove.

Yesterday, everything was nice and sweet.

We discussed about colours and chose some of her loots from bugis.

The feeling of her holding onto my arms again, was nice.

Really something I miss these past weeks without gf around.

After our shopping at bugis, we went to Beach Road for curry rice.

Something which gf wanna try for so long. (:

We shared a plate. Drove her home while she slept soundly.

I know, she is tired.

In my mind.... i told myself:

... just let her rest and sleep ba, she can only be who she is,

only when she is with me.

I lowered the aircon and the music volume, hoping she rest well after a long day.

And today, our 5th year 2nd months. 18th January 2012.

I will never treat you like how I use to do and made you angry anymore.

Just like how the cat waits for her owner to return,

I am waiting for you too.

Brought her to Beach Road for SCISSORSCUT curry rice!

We felt what father bought home for us is nicer though! (:

Our late late dinner after our shopping.

Gf brought me a chocolate with "FA" engraved on it.

Haha. How thoughtful she is.

I got gf her favourite almond beancurd too.

Ate it in the car together while on our way to bugis.

We gonna have late dinner cus of her frantic shopping. (:

From her. (:

Hot Chelle Rae - Why Don't You Love Me


This MV makes me think ; is it worth it?
 I hope she give me the chance to improve and love her,  a last chance.






I may not be good-looking but I am cute and has a unique good voice and sense of humour!
Like real only! (:



I want to see you smile again.

Woke up in the morning as usual. My brother just went Hong Kong at 5am.

Just turning and tossing around in my bed. Talk to him about my experience there with gf.

Today is the last day driving to work I guess.

Colleague bought me a herbal tea during lunchtime.

Was on fever yesterday. Maybe not use to the routine now.

Everything is starting to get on track. This is the busiest Friday I guess since I started there.

Work overtime alone in office since there is no program later on.

Just don't like the feeling of being alone. But what to do, got to work. Really hate this feeling.

The sound of the photocopier machine was especially loud. Faxes coming in every few minutes.

I am going to Mount Alvernia for work tomorrow morning.

Had a plate of cabbage with an egg on top at Ajisen for dinner. Life without meat isn't that hard afterall. Going for suntanning after going work at Mount Alvernia tomorow. I am looking at making an appointment soon at Fabulous Tan.

Thinking of the tone I want recently. Maybe tones like "KE YOU LUN" will be good. Yes, my weight is still maintain at 69kg. No doubts about that. 

Chinese New Year is around the corner. But the mood is not there as the past years anymore.

Time to improve on my life. Let me, improve on my appearance first in the shortest time.

I think, I have found my confidence which I have lost these years. I am motivated.

And after that, I will go back to school for studies after enrollment. Cheers!

Our ring, I am still wearing it...... .... 

I have lost 6.7kg within these 4 days.
It was 76.2kg when gf helped me to take my weight over at her house.
I weighed myself again. 69.3kg. OH MY GOD.

All these while, she has been complaining about me putting on weight.
I didnt really took her comments well.
If she sees this and if she is still around me, she will be very happy to know it!

She asked me to eat lesser but I replied, I am a guy, dear. I need to eat to protect you!
Now, I don't even feel hungry without eating. Just munching on apples. (:

She used to love me for who I am. If I am too thin, she wouldn't have even fall for me.
If not, this name wont be created too, Pui Kia. She love to call me that. Yes, she really love. Are you used to your life out there? Have you eaten well? Are you smiling?

Alright folks, I am going for a run now... (To be continued)

Browsing through the photos in the folder gf created for me.Haha, remembered that time she spent her whole Saturday afternoon on it. TOTAL IMAGE - 13087 photos of us and memories. Wow.
HK trip, malacca trip, special occasions, anniversaries, random pictures.
And those when she is still 17.
Brought her out for a sumptuous dinner after that. To "wei lao" her.
I remembered once I watch this movie while at work last time.

Hachiko.
It's a movie based on true story, a dog's tale.

Hachiko was very very close with his owner. Everyday, he would walk beside him to the train station when his owner is going to work. At 6pm, he will wait patiently at the gate of the train station, waiting for him to come back. He never fails to do so through the season's change. Even winter.

One day, his owner pass away at his work place due to some sickness. Hachiko, not knowing that his owner has already pass on, waited for him as usual at the train station that day. Hachiko waited outside the train station, rain or shine, winter or summer, knowing that his owner won't leave him alone.

Hachiko returned to the train station the next day and everyday for the next nine years. People around the station looked at him with a pitiful eyes, yet touching. Some will even bring him food for his meals.

One day, hachiko passed away outside the train station, while waiting for his owner's return.
His owner though, will never return anymore. He is dead.

Sad, isn't it?

Got a question for all readers, if you know someone is waiting for your return,
just like how Hachiko waited for his owner, will you leave him in lurch, knowing he will be there, rain or shine? (:

I guess Hachiko will never blame how the owner made him wait there, he will still be the same dog, wagging his tails and purring on your body if he returns.

Nights has been hard. The time spent alone on bed at night trying to sleep is the most difficult thing. Even harder than striking A in exams

Gf once told me, don't leave me alone for more than 3 days after a quarrel. I will just let go of this relationship and forgets everything. And always after a couple of days, we would go back and work things out. It's always over small matters though. Today is the 4th day we have not seen each other. Last time, I would usually just pop by over at her house and she will be happy to see me there for her again. Or even wait outside her house at 645am, just to surprise her with a breakfast and bringing her to work.

I really wanted to do all these things again and I know she miss me alot alot too. The feeling I have now is really killing me soon. I MISS YOU ALOT DEAR! CAN YOU HEAR ME! REALLY ALOT! My phone is too quiet that my ringtone is turning dusty soon.

Gf once told me, What's yours is yours. What not yours no point forcing.

But I really wish that she is reading this.
Destiny and fate falls in our on hands. It's up to us to make things happen. We decide our path and who we want to be with. If we choose to let it go, no one can help us win it back.
Nothing is impossible.

I am using this now.

Woke up in the morning by the morning bus downstairs. Kids going to school with their uniform and big bags. Walked to the toilet, with my towel in my hand. Yes, she is going to have her beancurd later on! Called Angeline to remind her on it. (: Thanks again!
Changed into workwear and as usual, drove to work through the songs she used to love. Saw a cockroach while warming up my car, remembered the way she screamed when she saw one just on the carpet under her seats. I jumped too that time. Yes, I am afraid of it. But always act man in front of her. But she doesn't even believe that.

Pass by pandan reservoir daily, thats her favourite reservoir! Flashbacks with her, wenhan and angeline there not long ago. It was work again. Committed mistakes these couple of days. Errors after errors. Today, I am not gg to be like that again, i told myself. Saw gf photo on how happy she is eating the beancurd. Glad that she is smiling. But soon, my whole world came crashing down like a fallen UNO STACKO.

"She wants you to give up this relationship"

My phone dropped. Tears flowed. Again. The mood was so down that I went to the toilet straightaway and stayed there for the next half an hour. Everything went blank. My days ahead, my plans and the promises we shared. I couldn't believe that it all ended just like that.

Went back to work with teary eyes and I just couldnt concentrate on my work. I am dealing with lens, so lots of people is waiting for my consignment to them at the hospital. I couldnt afford to make a silly mistake. I am helping so many people at work but who is going to be there for me now? Will gf know how I feel now. Very very devastating.

Looked at the clock and it was 2pm. Past my lunchtime. I just don't feel hungry nor thirsty. Kept thinking and thinking, have I lose it all?

Went to houseviewing with brother at CCK after work, still okay. Not bad, saw the open concept kitchen that gf love when she said at Sisi house. She will love this house too, i guess. Met up with wenhan over at his house voiddeck and chat. I am feeling cold. Its like draining my energy off totally. Eat something jason, said wenhan. Eat well and wait for her return, she will want you to be good too!

Told him, there's nothing I want from her all these years even now, zhi dan yuan ta hui xiang.
Be it with me or from now, she got to think of the consequences after doing anything. I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Never.

Went to Yewtee for some food. Remember yaoyao, gf? (If you are reading this)
Didnt see her there today. Its the same old auntie selling ban mian and I ordered a bowl.
We used to come here for late dinner after gf class with wx. Remembered, saba fish.
Went back after a short chat with them. Was listening to this song for the whole day,
Lee Yu Chun - Ai De Tai Sha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEjrTRmikEU

This is the hardest obstacle we have met. I believe we can overcome this storm after so many thick and thin we went through all these years. And here I wanna say, only if you come back, our life will be norm again. Jiayou, gf, you want to be back to xiao shou too. Be yourself.

waiting....... .. (To be continued)

I didn't know when i am reviving this blog, its about sadness and tears
Got off my bed. Very unusual. Its 6am, my phone isn't on silent. Oh ya, she isn't msging me anymore. No msgs, nothing on my phone. Changing and washing up takes longer time than usual, i am not worried about making her wait for me under the hot sun anymore. Today onward, I am on my own. Saw the clothes she always wanted me to wear and finally, i took it out and wore it today. I dont feel weird wearing it anymore. I used to say, I am not nice on it.... ..

The traffics on the road is hectic, i would usually rush myself to her bus, with her sitting beside me on the pink cushion that she love. I would on her favourite hit while she just sit there indulging in the music. Sometimes, she will just singing along with it. Cute. Journey with her sitting next to me is short and fast. Now, the road seems never ending and long..
With the music she love playing in the background, I looked at the keychain on my car handle and ask, are you missing me too? Not knowingly, I have reach my office. Took my jacket and had a look at our names on the car. Jason Jeline. This is the car with so much memories in it, laughters, tears. A car which accompany us to so many locations and anniversary...

That's our car! I gonna wash it clean every week, i promised myself. 810am, usually i would call her and ask if she reached office. Today, i skipped that. Time has been going too slowly, too slowly for me to pass my time alone. Was engross in my work while I kept her in the back of my brain, she is energetic though, running through my brain every second, every minute.
Soon, it was lunch time. Asked myself again, have she eaten? She must be busy and busy as usual. Usually the next thing after lunch was looking forward to 530pm! Would fetch her from pioneer after her work. Now, how i wish 530pm doesnt come fast. Today, it's a different journey back home. Suddenly, i felt like listening to this song: Blue -If You Come Back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjFO5zw7hq4&ob=av2e

Tears filled my eyes. Is this really happening to me? I don't believe it though. I still couldn't accept the fact. The song accompanied me till knock off, its raining outside. Wanted to msg her or call her. I was so worried bout her getting into the rain. Tears rolled again. I hold on my phone and put it aside. And yes, the journey back home is everlasting. Went for a jog and bathe, before hopping into the bed after that.
Forgotten about dinner. In my mind, I am closest to you only in my dreams from now.... ...

(To be continued)

If only we could stay together like this, forever.